Of Demons and Pitchforks
by Of Stories Told
Summary: In which it can be a felony to talk to snakes, or where Harry decides to become supreme ruler of Azkaban. A sorta drabble fic with Harry in prison.
1. Why One Should Not Talk to Snakes

**_A/N: _**_Well, every author needs a rather odd Harry, and I think we can all appreciate just how fantastical a person can be given the right circumstance. I hope you all enjoy! _

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J._

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**_In Which Harry Discovers He is a Dark Lord_**

For as long as Harry could remember, he had always been a rather odd child. He lived with his normal relatives in a rather boring neighborhood, where the only form of entertainment came from running from his cousin or figuring out how to unlock his cupboard without anyone the wiser. Harry was a freak, different from his normal relatives, and as such had to earn his keep in whatever way they so chose, whether it was by weeding the garden or cooking them extravagant meals while he was left with only a small morsel if they felt generous.

Personally he thought it was a tad unfair.

However he couldn't really argue against them. He knew he wasn't normal by any sense of the word after all. Even his cousin could attest to the fact that Harry was the most abnormal child he had ever had the displeasure of meeting. It had hurt at first, not having his family care for him because he was so different from them but as he grew older, he had his first epiphany.

The fact that he was a freak, was utterly amazing!

For as long as he could remember, there was an odd energy idly floating within him, it felt powerful and always left him with a giddy feeling whenever he reached out towards it. Like a big ball of light, always eager to help when Harry called upon it. It had taken a lot of trial and error, with unfortunately quite a few beatings mixed in there as well, but Harry finally had reached an understanding; and dare he say comradery with his gift.

He learned if he focused really hard, he could change things around him, small, insignificant changes that helped make his life easier. He learned how to repair rips in his clothes simply by running his hand over them, or how to create water whenever he was thirsty after toiling all day in the sun. Then whenever the darkness in his cupboard become too much he would just make a few globe of lights appear and let them float lazily above his head, and later, he had even learned that just by clicking his fingers together he could unlock his cupboard door, though he mostly used this ability when the Dursley's were fast asleep, not wanting earn any extra punishments from them should he be caught traversing around their home without their supervision.

Though his personal favorite ability was also the most useful, he could heal himself. No matter how brutally his uncle tried to beat him, 'to stomp out his freakiness' it never worked, it just caused a rage to build up in Harry at the thought of ever losing his wonderful abilities and made him once again thankful that he wasn't normal.

Normal people liked to beat and starve freaks.

Normal people treated him as if he was dirt, and would ignore the multiple bruises and lacerations on his small body.

Normal people would never care for him.

And so he decided he didn't need normal, he was fine as he was.

For Harry, being a freak was a wonderful thing; after all, if his relatives were considered normal than by all means he would eagerly accept his freakiness and embrace it with open arms.

Which is, incidentally, what led him to where he was now.

It had all started out innocently enough; he had been toiling away in his aunt's award winning rose garden (curtsey of his own hard work) when one of his friends came by to talk politics with him. Unknown to the Dursley's and almost everyone else in general, Harry had numerous friends, it's just not all of them had legs, or arms... or could technically talk.

You see, most of Harry's friends were snakes, sure the odd cat or two would come by to complain about their pathetic servants now and then, or how once again they were fed the wrong type of food or petted incorrectly; and a few birds had decided that he needed more worms in his diet and had taken to mothering him whenever they flew by his home; but the snakes were his true friends and conversationalist… as long as he flattered them of course.

Snakes were ridiculously vain.

It was on this day, however, that his whole life changed about. He had been so engrossed in his friend's complaints on how difficult it was to hunt for mice in a suburban area that he never even heard his aunt coming to check up on him.

However, her high pitch scream quickly alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone. And that he was probably in trouble.

He had turned to look at her, wondering what exactly had set her off now just to be confused when he took in her pale countenance as she started to mutter on how he was the devil's offspring under her breath, her painfully thin frame trembling as she simply stared at him and made the symbol of the cross over herself.

He perked up a bit as he listened to her hysterical mutterings, all his life he had been under the assumption that his father was a raging junkie and a drunk, but in reality; he had been a demon, and wasn't that a shocker?

His family's hatred of him suddenly made a lot more sense. He didn't really feel demonic, and was rather put out at the fact that he didn't own a pitchfork or have horns, but at least he finally understood where his odd gift had come from.

He wondered if his father had owned a pitchfork, maybe you had to rent them like a library book? Or was it like and heirloom you passed on to your child at a certain age? If so he was rather upset that he had yet to receive it, and hoped it hadn't been lost in the mail, he had heard his uncle complain numerous times on how horrid the mail service was, and wouldn't be surprise if they had misplaced his family's pitchfork somewhere.

Regardless of his inner musings, his snake speaking ways seemed to be the last straw for his Aunt; as after pausing in her hysterics to make sure he wasn't about to spit up pea soup or call up fire and brimstone she had immediately grabbed his arm and forcefully dragged him into his cupboard, making sure to add a few extra locks to the small door for safe measure.

A few hours later spent mostly on contemplating his paternity and the possible repercussions of living with humans and not in hell with his more sadistically prone relatives he was once again disturbed from his musing by the appearance of a group of men wearing funny red dresses.

All in all, it had been an extremely odd day, one that seemed far from over.

They all seemed surprised in his opinion, a few of them staring at him with wide eyes, some with disbelief and even a couple that didn't seem to like him that much, if their glares were anything to go by. He supposed that they were the religious sort like his aunt and uncle were. He was just thankful that no one had thrown holy water on him yet, he wasn't too sure if it would affect him or not and wasn't eager to find out any time soon. He did have to admit however that while the glares they sent his way were extremely impressive, they unfortunately were nothing compared to his uncle's fantastic representation of the colour purple when it came to his anger problems. Oh well, what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

After a whole lot of yelling, which Harry was thankfully able to block out thanks to years of practice, he was made to go with the odd group of men. A few of them seemed scared of touching him until finally one of them; who he supposed was their leader, snapped at them. At that they quickly grew abashed and grabbed hold of him before seeming to bend reality right before his very eyes. One moment, he was in front of his relative's home, and the next he was in a large waiting area, filled with the most fantastic things! He saw small paper notes flying lazily about and oddly enough more men in dresses, waving around sticks that they all seemed fond of. One of them was shouting out in panic, as the bottom of his dress was being clung onto by a small tin soldier with a disturbing leer on his painted features.

While waiting patiently with the odd group he was offered a cup of strange tasting juice, with a pumpkin aftertaste before being quickly rushed off to a trial of some sort. There he was made to sit in a chair that seemed to belong in one of his uncle's 'grown up' videos than in a government building. It was filled to the brim with metal chains but thankfully they stayed idle, as he didn't quite fancy being tied up to a chair like he had seen in those videos.

He wondered if his uncle would appreciate it more, after all the man had a rather impressive pile of VHS's and magazines all filled with woman or even men tied up. He supposed it was just an adult thing and he would understand it more when he was older.

Looking around he noticed a rather surly judge was staring at him with a patented looking sneer on his lips as he barked out numerous odd and confusing questions. To his surprise he was able to answer them all with ease, even when he didn't know the answer to a few questions he would still respond, he had never known himself to be so articulate. The more he answered however, the paler everyone's faces became. To the point that he swore a few of them had even fainted, though he wasn't exactly sure why.

He supposed that these weirdly dressed people also weren't too fond of demons, or their offspring's.

Perhaps he should have thought out his answers a little more after all.

Finally after he was done answering their questions, they had reached a verdict. To Harry's surprise it seemed he was a Dark Lord bent on world domination, or rather, he would have been one if they hadn't caught him in time. He was impressed with how fast they had responded to his evil intentions; he hadn't even realized yet that he was so undeniably evil, course he should have probably known better, given who his father was.

After telling him what his future intentions would have been, they sentenced him to life in an oddly named prison and at once let out a collective sigh of relief at having stopped such a demonic force before he could have truly caused mayhem to their world.

And that is how Harry discovered he was a Dark Lord on the rise, with a demon as a father instead of a drunkard as he was forcefully thrown inside his new room in a large stone castle filled with screams and deranged laughter…. All at the tender age of six.

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**_A/N: _**_As you can probably tell, Harry's a bit… different when it comes to his thought process. Let's just say he will have a very 'interesting' experience in his new home, contrary to other's hopes. As the story goes on it'll make more sense on why exactly this all happen, but till then I hope you all enjoy the ride! Please leave a review if you've enjoyed the tale, they always motivate me to write more and make me smile at the fact that these tales are being enjoyed. Thank you._

_Till next time… _


	2. A Demon Needs a Home

**_A/N:_**_ Since I'm probably a little (a lot) insane, here's a new chapter only hours after the first! Hope you're all liking this odd tale so far and thank you so much for your lovely reviews! They feed my muse and help me make these crazy characters come to life. _

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling _

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**_In which Harry decides to claim the castle as his own_**

It had been almost a month since he had been uprooted from his small but beloved cupboard and taken to a stone castle surrounded by nothing but the vast ocean, and he was absolutely positive that he was in love. For the first time in his short life he had his very own room!

Sure the walls oozed weird green slime, and the front of his room had bars on it, and yeah, his window wasn't really a window as much as just a hole in the wall with metal bars crissed crossed upon it, but it was all his! For once in his life he had something that belonged only to him. He had a small chamber pot that seemed to magically disappear his waste after each use (or anything else he put in there), and he was now even the proud owner of a rickety old chair that he had affectionally named Paul. Not to mention he even had his very own bed now, a bed that came with a full length blanket on it and even… his very own pillow. To Harry, he was in heaven. Had he known all he had to do in order to leave the Dursley's was talk to snakes around them, he would have done it years ago.

Though the biggest novelty of his new living arrangements had to be that he no longer had to work in order to earn his keep. At the Dursley's he was forced to do numerous chores since the moment he could walk in order to be fed and watered, that is if he hadn't angered them that day or if they were feeling unusually generous. Should he make even one small mistake or should his relatives be irritable that day, he simply wouldn't be fed, no questions about it. Here he could scream or act out and no one would care, he would still get three meals a day no matter what. It was mind blowing in his opinion, at first he didn't know what to do with all the food that had suddenly been offered to him, but quickly ended up giving his extra portions to a few rats and mice that would visit him in return for some gossip that they happened to overhear.

Apparently a mouse named Margret had recently taken on two husbands, both of whom were her siblings! It had greatly disappointed her father who had been hoping she would marry the nice sea rat from near the coast, being that he always knew where to find the best bits of food on the island.

His new furry friends were a great form of entertainment, and could keep him up for hours simply talking and laughing about all the strange and silly things they would get up to in the castle. And while he missed his scaly friends, and hoped that the snakes were alright and catching plenty of mice (no offense to the ones he happened to be well acquainted with) he couldn't deny the fact that he was finally happy right where he was.

While the screams he kept hearing had been odd and concerning during the first few days in his new home, they had quickly become background noise to him. He had even made a game of sorts for them, and would play it whenever he lost interest in the latest gossip or simply wanted a change of pace. Each scream had a different tone and emotion in it, most were fearful, a few filled with rage, then there were the ones screaming from sorrow or even boredom, as such he had quickly assigned each voice a name to go along with whatever was bothering them that day. He had even kept up a tally on who seemed to scream the most. So far Eric was winning with his impressive show of lung capacity. His screams were long and he barely took any breaks between them. Each tortured cry that ripped from his mouth was filled with immense sorrow. Harry, in all his wisdom had quickly deduced why the man was so woeful all the time (especially right when Harry was trying to sleep.)

The poor man kept having his pudding stolen.

Harry could honestly understand where he was coming from. Before coming to the castle, he had never even been allowed pudding, so to have it stolen constantly must be utterly heart wrenching for the poor man. Hopefully his guards would share some of their pudding with him, as long as he asked nicely, preferably without screaming at them.

He was rather fond of his own guards after all. They always seemed so cold and sad when they came by, giving him the impression that they didn't take good care of themselves. They would stop in twice a day to check up on him and sometimes they would even smile at him or give him a small wave when they passed by. So far he already had two favorites that he had quickly decided would be part of his inner circle when he finally came into all his demonic abilities and took over the world.

One of them was an odd old man with a pair of lovely blue eyes. One of his eyes was significantly larger then the other and had a habit of roving about all over the place. He had numerous scars all over his body and even a wooden leg, which Harry thought was quite impressive. Secretly he wondered if the man was a pirate, but felt like it was far too soon in their relationship to ask such a personal question. Harry knew the moment he saw the older gentleman that he had to have him as his minion, or follower, whatever the man preferred. He looked just like the villains in Dudley's movies and even had a lovely gruff voice, perfect for deranged laughter and evil monologues. The man would always make the effort to stop by Harry's room, and even ruffle his hair a bit, much to Harry's shock. Normally no one liked touching him, thinking that his freakiness would rub off on him, but this man would touch him willingly, without care to the consequences.

He just had to have the man as his follower, it was already a given. He would always ask Harry numerous questions, mostly about his home life at the Dursley's, if he liked his bed, or how the food was that day. Harry was initially a tad confused on all the questions, but quickly decided that if it got this evil man on his side, he would answer them all to the best of his abilities. Ever since that first meeting his guard would come by daily to visit, even if he didn't have a shift that day. He would mention all the dark wizards he had caught and all the battles he had fought in (which sold Harry on the idea of having this man work for him even more, he was positive that he could make his guard truly evil with enough effort) and each day before he left he would shout out a funny little phrase before giving Harry an odd chocolate treat that liked to run away from him. (He had previously lost several of them when he had first assumed them to be undercover amphibians that worked against the men in dresses.)

His second favorite guard was incredibly young still, as apparently working in the castle was the first job the man had ever had. Harry easily took this to mean that it would be extremely easy to convince the young guard to join him on his quest for world domination. He had beautiful coffee coloured skin and always smelled of herbs and spices. At first, he never seemed to know what to do around Harry. He would either walk by quickly or try his best not to look at him. Then slowly but surely he would pause by Harry's room with a rather distraught expression on his strong features. Harry would always stay quiet and simply offer him a hesitant smile. He didn't want to push the man too soon after all, Rome wasn't built in a day and he was curious on why the man always acted so oddly around him.

Finally one day, all his patience finally paid off. The young guard came to his room and out of his cloak pulled out to Harry's amazement a colouring book and even a box of crayons (to Harry's evil delight it came with over fifty colours and a sharpener, not even Dudley's crayons were that brilliant.) Harry's eyes had practically lit up in excitement at the gift, besides the candy his pirate guard would give him; he had never owned anything physical that was solely his. He had thanked his guard ecstatically and mentally moved him up as his absolute favorite follower before quickly opening up the colouring book, just to frown at the pictures inside.

They moved.

How on earth was he supposed to colour in moving pictures?

He had just started learning how to colour in the lines when he had left the Dursley's!

At first he felt awkward questioning his new favorite about the odd colouring book, especially as the man had seemed so happy and touched that Harry had accepted his gift, but it was impossible to colour anything in! All the rabbits and strange creatures kept running away from him whenever he tried. Finally sucking in his pride at not being able to show his amazing prowess through his magnificent colouring skills (which had at one point even earned him a gold sticker), he shyly asked his favorite why the pictures were moving, and if he could make them stop.

He had never seen someone's face fall so quickly, one moment his eyes were shining with heartfelt joy and a large smile was on his lips; the next his eyes seemed to dull and fill with such overwhelming sadness as his lips fell into a miserable frown. He felt embarrassed at the fact that he had disappointed the man, but also worried. It couldn't be healthy for ones emotions to change so quickly, perhaps he was bipolar? He mentally noted that once he took over the world to make his poor favorite see a therapist, he didn't want the man to be singing in joy one moment just to try hoping off a bridge to his watery doom the next.

Finally after a long moment of both of them merely staring at the other, Harry with growing concern for his favorite's mental wellbeing while the poor guard stared back with an unhealthy amount of sorrow they finally broke off their staring contest. His young guard forced a smile onto his lips and showed Harry how to use the colouring book, which he had to admit, was the most fantastical thing he had ever seen once he got the hang of it. He spent the next few hours laughing and playing with the book, while keeping a firm eye on his guards rapidly changing expressions. By the time his guard left for the day there seemed to be a new determination in his eyes, Harry could only hope it meant he was finally ready to make an appointment to discuss his emotional troubles and as such wished him all the luck in the world.

When Harry had first been taken to this strange castle, he had been rather unsure of himself. His whole life had been a lie after all. He had grown up believing he was simply a freak created unnaturally by some poor helpless drug addicted normals, while in actually his father had been a highly feared demon that caused others to faint at his mere mention and might have even been a Dark Lord (he still wasn't too sure on that part.) Harry hadn't even known at that point that he was evil, sure he had the odd daydream or two of making the Dursley's into various foods and serving them to the hungry, especially Dudley and Vernon, he was sure that those two could keep others fed for months, maybe even years if he stretched out the portions correctly. He had been so sure that everyone had such thoughts every now and then that he never bothered to question them.

But now… he knew the truth. He was true evil, a demon offspring meant to make the world bow in terror! He had to give the men in dresses props for catching him so quickly, he would have taken years to figure out his life goals without their help, but he knew in his heart that they were right. He had to make his demon father proud of him, and what better way to earn his father's praise then by continuing his life's work? Sure it would be difficult, and he was still working on gathering followers but he was sure that he could succeed in his dastardly plans. After all, he already had two followers that he was sure would join him soon enough; he knew that given time he would gain more until he had the world in the palm of his hand.

As Harry sat alone in his large room, a beaming smile started to appear on his lips. He had decided, this would be his castle, sure it needed a little work, as it was pretty dark and gloomy and he still had no clue what the weird liquid oozing out of the walls were, but he knew he could work with it. After all this… this was his beginning! His whole life had changed in this wondrous place, the place where he found his first followers, where he was able to eat pudding for the first time; he had even been given his first gifts here. Besides, every evil villain needs an evil lair and what better then a dark castle surrounded by an actual ocean? It could be his fortress, he would first take control of the castle, and then… the world!

Harry smiled and moved to relax on his bed.

For the first time since he could remember, he was finally home.

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**_A/N: _**_I hope everyone has enjoyed this new chapter, and rather odd cast. Azkaban will be a bit different with Harry now in it, and I can only hope you all enjoy where it goes. Once again thank you for your lovely reviews and please do leave a another if you've enjoyed the chapter? They never fail to bring a smile to my lips and fill me with motivation to right more. Thank you again and I hope you all enjoyed the latest installment!_

_Till next time…_


	3. Every Demon Needs a Ninja

**_A/N: _**_Another little chapter for everyone, as always I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for your lovely reviews~! They help keep me motivated when it comes to writing out these misadventures of poor Harry. _

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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**_In which Harry's secret service are odd flying Ninja's_**

Harry was bored.

He was completely and utterly, dreadfully bored.

He was so bored in fact, that he was mere moments away from poking at the green slime on his walls, just to see if it would cause some type of chemical reaction, maybe if he was lucky it might even explode, or just ooze quicker.

Seriously he wasn't picky.

At this point, he was desperate to try anything to relieve his boredom.

He was starting to fear that his boredom may become terminal if he didn't act soon enough.

Could one even die of boredom? Harry was certain that if they could, he would most definitely be meeting with that fate soon enough.

Harry usually wasn't one for complaints; after all should he even make the mere motion of moving his lips at the Dursley's he would be smacked over his head for his troubles and thrown into his cupboard without supper. (He tested this theory out at least five times before finally coming to the conclusion that the Dursley's weren't the imaginative sort when it came to punishments.) In truth, he really did love his castle, and his room; he especially loved his two followers (who he was certain were only days away from finally joining his side in the quest for everlasting darkness.) But he was starting to feel stir crazy, it just couldn't be healthy to spend days on end locked in ones room, he would know, he used to spends weeks locked in his cupboard. But this was different! This was his castle, and one day his evil lair! He had to explore the stone fortress; he needed to see how his home would hold up during an attack and whether or not there were any more potential followers hiding away in their own rooms, all of them just waiting to join his side of deviltry and mayhem.

While usually he would simply use his gift to escape from him rooms and go about exploring his new home, it seemed as if something was affecting his demonic powers from working towards their full potential. His gift had been feeling strange ever since he came to the castle, it was sluggish, as if it had finally decided to take a well deserved nap and wasn't to be disturbed nor bothered; no matter the circumstance. However he had always been the curious sort and would not take no for an answer. Thus he had poked at it, prodded it, and when that didn't work he had flat out begged his gift to do something.

He had gotten a sharp sting to his buttocks for his troubles.

It seemed that when it came to escaping from his room (and he would escape!) he was on his own for the time being.

He had been so focused on his woes and inner monologue on the injustice of being kept in one place for so long that he almost missed the odd chill creeping through the air. At first he had simply brushed it off. His lovely window often brought in the chill from the sea, so he didn't think much of it.

But then it started to become colder.

His breath started to fog up right before his eyes as the pervasive chill began to wrap around him.

Honestly, he was very impressed. His castle seemed to have its own separate seasons from Private Drive and maybe even England itself. He had never even thought that a stone building could have seasons, and as thus was caught grossly unprepared at this discovery. With that thought in mind he decided that at his earliest convenience, he would arrange to have an umbrella brought to him, as he didn't think he would enjoy being soaked through to the skin should it start to rain as he settled in for his nightly slumber ritual. He wondered if it became cold enough in the castle that instead of rain, lovely white (or maybe even green) snowflakes would appear. While it was lovely in thought, he knew it would quickly prove problematic should the castle decide it was time for winter, after all, who would possibly want to shovel up that much snow? Harry quickly decided that once he gained control of his castle that only one room would be allowed to have snow in it, after all, it would be troublesome to clean up snow in the whole castle, just clearing out the Dursley's driveway had given Harry a whole new appreciation for spring, and he wasn't anxious to learn just how long it would take him to shovel a decent walkway through the narrow halls in his castle.

It was as he was contemplating the pros and cons of building a large snow castle within a castle that he finally realized he was no longer alone. He wasn't surprised that he hadn't noticed his guest at first, after all the strange man seemed to like hiding in the shadows and was eerily silent, leaving Harry to assume his guest was training to be a ninja. He wore a long black cloak that covered his entire frame, he couldn't even see the strangers face. But what really shocked Harry was the fact that the man wasn't walking towards him, no.

He was _flying_.

Harry was incredibly upset over this. He had always wanted to fly, more so once his bird friends started to tell him of all the marvelous places they had seen during their trips over vast oceans to foreign lands. Flying was something he desperately wanted to be able to do, but since he had assumed humans couldn't fly he had marked it up as a lost cause.

But now, right in front of him, was a real, hopefully breathing, flying ninja. He was embarrassed to admit that while he had come to terms with his demonic heritage, he had completely forgotten all of the tales of demons flying and causing general chaos and mischief with their horrific deeds. And now, knowing that even a normal ninja had unlocked the ability of flight just filled Harry with determination to learn the same skill.

After all, he was no second rate demon, he would learn how to fly, and then he would take over both the skies and the earth.

It was his birthright after all.

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The ninja didn't talk much he'd quickly discovered. He wasn't too upset about this; after all, the fact that the man took his training seriously earned him quite a few points in Harry opinion. Harry knew the importance of good training and education. His teachers in school would constantly warned them that without knowledge their minds would waste away, never to reach their full potential; and even at the Dursley's they had often told him how uneducated his parents were, and how that fact (along with their terrible morals) had led them to their untimely demise. When it came to training he quickly grew to form an appreciation for the sheer capabilities of the human body under the right conditions. For without running away from Dudley and his gang (which had nothing on his own followers) every single day on their way home from school or during recess (or any other time his large whale of a cousin felt like giving chase), Harry would never have been able to win a first place during a school held racing event (though he hadn't appreciated Vernon immediately burning the lovely coloured ribbon he'd won in the fireplace the moment they arrived home.) Thus the fact that his ninja understood those merits and took the time and effort to train his body and mind to its full potential, made Harry instantly hold him in high esteem.

His ninja (as he already knew this man would soon be joining him in his cause) seemed a tad troubled however. He kept floating by Harry's room, as if expecting something to happen, only to become rather disappointed when the expected event did not occur. Harry felt a bit sorry for him, and while he honestly wouldn't mind helping him, he wasn't sure what it was his ninja was waiting for.

Finally his poor black clothed friend seemed to give up and call for extra reinforcements, which to Harry's utter delight, meant even more ninja's. Soon the hallway to his room was filled to the brim with the odd floating men, and Harry was absolutely amazed at just how many there were. (And kept in mind to ask them how they were so flexible at a later date.) He knew that for his world domination plans to succeed, he would need skilled followers. But now he realized, having ninja's as his private guards and to help with any dirty work would make his conquest of the world so much easier! They all seemed to enjoy hiding in the shadows and even now if it weren't for the fact that he was staring right at them, he wouldn't even know they were there! Their skills were astounding and he couldn't help but wonder what else they were capable of. He just knew that when it came to covert missions where secrecy and subtlety were a must, that these ninja's of his would be able to succeed, regardless of the risks they may face.

The only downside he had seen so far was how things seem to become cold around them, which would quickly give away their position in a mission where being hidden was a must. (Or if he ever had to send them to the tropics for some reason.) He supposed the ninja's were closet snow enthusiast and already was making plans to have a whole section of his castle given to them as a reward for their future service to him where they could throw snowballs and build snowmen to their hearts content.

Unfortunately, before he could draw up a suitable contract which left both sides happy with their demands, a bright burst of light appeared in the hall, making his poor ninja's flee for the cover of darkness.

His two favorite guards suddenly appeared in the hallway as the bright light faded away, gasping for breath as they looked him over in fear and panic. The younger of the two practically ripped open his door (which was really just metal bars) in his haste to reach Harry and started to force feed him chocolate as his pirate guard kept waving his strange stick around the air while speaking in tongues. (Harry wondered if he was secretly a demon as well; or just possessed.) While he didn't mind having the tasty decadent treat, he did feel a bit uncomfortable being coddled by the two, and wondered why they were so worried. He supposed that they had simply assumed he would not know how to handle himself around the ninja's but thanks to Dudley's movies (which he had been able to catch glimpse of from his cupboard or watched without volume in the dead of night) he was perfectly aware of how one should pay their proper respects to the silent killers.

In the end he simply decided to go along with their coddling of him, after all, he had to admit that it felt nice to have someone hold him and could now fully understand why Dudley used to always ask his mother for hugs.

It was a surprisingly warm feeling.

Thus, Harry quickly came to the conclusion that hugs were some of the best things in the world… and that he really needed to learn how to write better in order to make a legible contract for his ninja army.

Things seemed to be looking up in his castle.

But seriously, he had to find a way out of his room… After another hug.

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**_A/N: _**_You know, I really wasn't expecting the story to go in this direction, but I should have known better when it comes to Harry's mentality. Hope you all enjoyed his 'Ninja's' and don't worry all your question will eventually be answered (very eventually…) Thank you all again for your reviews and please leave another if you've enjoyed the tale, they seriously help my muse come up with more hijinks for Harry to get involved in. Hope everyone has enjoyed the latest chapter._

_Till next time… _


	4. Life's Tough When Everything is a Lie

**_A/N:_**_Hello again everyone, wanted to publish this chapter yesterday, but well, things always have a habit of popping up unexpectedly. Thank you all for your kind reviews, I'm so happy to know you're all enjoying this tale. This chapter will be a little different than the others since it's a different POV than Harry's, but worry not, next chapter will once again have Harry going about his crazy schemes and hi-jinks once again. I hope you all enjoy!_

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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**_In which not all aurors are idiots_**

Life was easier when things were black and white.

It used to be so simple, evil and good, light and darkness. One of them he would kill and capture, the other would be his friends, the innocent few who he would give his life to protect.

He had spent years carefully building on his beliefs. Months spent in the darkest recess of his world, tracking the monsters who dare to prey on the innocent, the monsters who would laugh in glee as they tortured a child, or raped a poor woman for the power it gave them. He had lost count of just how many of these vile men he had willingly killed, standing over their corpses with no small amount of relief at the fact that never again could they harm someone, never again would he have to go to a family and tell them of the horror their child faced in these men's clutches. His magic and spirit may have been light, but that did not mean he would hesitate to kill a man who thought to do grievous harm to another.

_It had been so simple, so simple to tell the difference in his youth. _

It had been so simple to never double guess his decisions. He more than any other knew the true differences with dark and light magic, knew how if someone went too far down either path they would turn into the very monsters he captured and killed. And so, he did his duty for his country, for the children who could go to sleep each night knowing they were safe from harm; with their parents watching over them as they entered Morpheus's realm. For years, he did his duty without question, never once doubting that his beliefs would always hold strong and true.

To think, it had only taken a small, half starved, six year old runt with wide green eyes to turn his whole world upside down.

_He had been such a fool._

He'd thought it a ruse at first, when he'd overheard a few coworkers whispering about it in the mess hall. He'd thought it a great practical joke they planned to play on him, to tease him once more over his exaggerated paranoia.

He wasn't deaf after all; he'd heard all the things they said about him. Mad-eye Moody, paranoid auror, crazy old coot who would shoot someone just for looking at him funny; some of the runts at the training sites had even taken to calling him Mad-Eye, foolishly believing it to be his name. At first, he'd shrugged it off; everyone earns a name once they've been in the job long enough. So while he hadn't approved, he didn't remark on it either, his job was his life, he lived to make sure dark wizards couldn't go around harming the innocent.

He lived so that he could take down those monsters that preyed on the defenseless, so that perhaps… Perhaps one love struck fool wouldn't have to learn the true devastation that comes from losing their heart. They would never have to experience the torment of each day going home to an empty house, hearing whispers of a young love filled voice from days long past. So that they would never have to lie alone in bed at night, reaching out to grab a hand no longer there, straining their senses to catch a faint whiff of a familiar rose scented perfume…

He didn't care what anyone called him, as long as he could prevent others pain and heartache, they could very well call him the same as those he hunted, and he would merely shrug off their harsh taunts and carry on.

And so believing it to be a simple ruse, he ignored the whispers, the hushed laughter at the thought of actually persecuting a child who couldn't even carry a wand yet. Everyone knew the ministry was corrupt, and filled with numerous problems, but it couldn't be that terrible. No one in their right mind would arrest a child, the mere thought was outrageous. And so everyone simply enjoyed the great joke for what it was, laughed for a while at the thought, and went about their day as they had always done so.

Not even Dumbledore, who could be found lacking at times, would allow for such a thing to occur. The benevolent man believed in justice, he would never allow for an innocent to be taken to that hell on earth. Never.

It was ridiculous.

And so, he'd brushed off the outrageous claims and gone back to his business, training the runts at the academy and hoping they lived long enough to survive their first battle. Hoping that they remembered everything he taught them, that none of them froze the first time they bore witness to the true horrors that lurk in their world. He tried his hardest not to get too close to any of them, not to learn their names, what made them laugh or why they were upset. He couldn't afford that type of connection… not again. Not after the war.

He enjoyed keeping his life simple, and simply going about as he had always done. Which was why, when he turned up to work one day… his heart stilled as he noticed a startling difference from the day before.

The rumors… had all suddenly stopped.

To the unobservant, it would have made sense, the joke was outrageous, and after hearing it a few times, it started to lose its hilarity. Besides, no one wanted to give the auror department a bad rep, and a joke like that, if only one person took it seriously; would do just that. So to many outsiders, it simply seemed as if everyone had suddenly lost interest in the silly joke, and things went back to normal.

But he hadn't lived so long by being unobservant. He took note of the shifty eyes, the uncomfortable looks a few of the younger aurors gave their commanding officer, with guilt written clearly on their young faces. He paid close attention to the whispered murmurings of the higher up in the wizengamot, how they all seemed much too pleased with themselves. But most especially, he watched as overnight, over half and inch of paperwork suddenly disappeared off the Head Aurors desk.

The whole thing reeked of a cover up.

And so, he took a leave of absence from the academy and asked to be put on guard duty in Azkaban for the next few months. There were a few wry remarks at his abrupt change in heart, as anyone who knew him well enough understood his loathing for that dammed prison. Most of his coworkers simply smiled smugly, each of them believing he wanted to torture the criminals, rub their faces in the fact that he was the one who put them there. After all, he wasn't called Mad just because of his eye; many of them who had fought with him in the war knew just how deadly he could be.

In return for his quick transfer, he let them believe whatever they wanted to; let them make up all sorts of wild and outrageous rumors. It just made his task that much easier.

In all honesty, he had no clue what he expected to find in that rotten prison. He knew half the prisoners there, especially the ones kept in the uppermost floors were completely mad, having lost any vestige of sanity long ago. And the rest… with the constant visits from the dementors and the rotten food they were fed, they were already halfway there. With the piss poor conditions all of them were purposely kept in, along with the daily visits of the dementors, it truly was a miracle of the worst kind when any of them lasted longer then the five year mark.

A six year old boy locked up in that hell… he wouldn't even last a week.

As many do, unless given permission otherwise, he made his way to Azkaban by boat. The decrepit ferryman smiled grimly at him as he went aboard, showing off his rotten or missing teeth. A thick fog hung in the air and for a moment, he was reminded of the Greek myths his muggleborn mother would read to him as a child. Where a ferryman would carry the dead over the river Styx, as long as they could pay their way. If not… their decaying souls would haunt the river, attempting to drag others souls to the watery depths. The harsh ocean, with pitch black waters and turbulent waves, made him wonder if perhaps there was some truth to the myth, and were he not cautious, a decayed hand would quickly grab hold to his living flesh, and drag him under to his demise.

The shore was covered in a thick fog, with only the light of a few patronus were around to guide his way to the entrance. A rather weary looking rabbit twitched around his feet nervously as it gestured with his body the way forward. Large pillars of rock and salt lined the small island, sure to cause harm to any fool who dares test his courage amongst the ancient stone. Gravel lined his way forward, the harsh crunch of the stone pebbles as he walked on seeming oddly foreboding. A guard came up to greet him as soon as the stone castle came into view. He was a young one, probably had just finished the academy, unfortunate of him to be stuck with this position just as he graduated. Moody stared at the boy's stricken expression, how his chocolate skin seemed to turn sickly pale with each deranged scream that reached their ears, how his body flinched violently when a dementor drifted too close.

The kid was too young to be working here.

Coffee coloured eyes widened in recognition as he limped forward, his wooden leg acting up from the chill. If anything he seemed to pale even more as he stood up straighter, trying to seem more capable than he truly was. It was hard holding back a smile in amusement as the runt stammered incoherently.

It was obvious that he had trained this runt, and even more obvious that the kid remembered his preference to no nonsense when on duty.

"A-are you here to see him?" The kid stuttered out, his teeth clacking from the cold of the sea and the dementors that flew over their heads.

Moody froze, he had been hoping… until this very moment he had been hoping it really was just a horrible joke. He had hoped that all he would do was walk around the prison, keep an eye on the more dangerous prisoners, inspect the stone structure to make sure it was secure and go home knowing he had just been paranoid as usual, nothing out of the ordinary.

"I was… I was here when they brought him in." The boy continued, nervously blabbering on in the silence ensued from his admission. "He's so _small_!"

_It had to be a joke._

"I mean, they can't… they're not really going to leave him here right? A kid?! Here!?"

_He was just being paranoid, just living up to his namesake._

"Me and a few others gave him one of the larger cells, transfigured a bed for him and everything, the damn kid looked like he was going to tear up over having a bed! A bed of all things!"

_There's no cover-up, he'll be going to his empty home after this, safe in the knowledge that he's doing good for the world. That everything was still as it should be, that nothing was terribly wrong._

"We try and give him snacks every now and then, keep the dementors away from him as well, Michael… Michael told me the other day how the kid was bouncing off the walls in excitement, over the fact that he was finally allowed to eat pudding…"

_He was going to go to his empty home, with empty picture frames. Knowing that everything was alright, good and evil, they were still completely different concepts. The bad went to Azkaban; the good… the good went…_

"Merlin… it was just a terrible mix-up right? I mean, the ministry has to know this is outrageous right?"

_When he went home today, would he hear her voice again, would her scent haunt his dreams once more? What would she think of him now?_

"He's just a kid Moody… He's… Merlin… My own cousin is older than him!"

Moody swallowed thickly and finally looked at the kid in front of him.

He was too young for this job.

And Alastor… Alastor was too old.

Far too old.

He nodded once, knowing he wouldn't be able to speak just yet. Regardless the kid still looked at him with an expression of relief and gratitude.

It made him feel guilty, so he quickly looked away and entered the dark castle, with the sound of screams greeting him with ever step he took.

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Was it illegal to kidnap a kid that technically doesn't exist? A child who the government had washed their hands of and hidden away, like a dark secret never again to be mention.

He stood by the wrought iron doors, feeling numb as he stared at the small child within as said child stared back.

He was small. Wild, curly black hair lay atop of his head in a mess of knots and tangles as he looked up with the largest green eyes Moody had ever seen. He had a small button nose and the type of cheeks that old hags would pinch as they crooned at him and gave him candies to munch on for his troubles.

He shouldn't be in a prison cell.

He should be outside, playing gobstone with his friends, running around making mud pies and asking for hugs and kisses when he injured himself.

He shouldn't be here.

Who the hell would put a child in prison?!

He had tried to find the court proceedings, tried to find out what possible explanation there could be for arresting a child.

He couldn't find any mention of it.

As far as the wizarding world knew, the kid didn't even exist.

"Excuse me sir?"

His voice was soft and much too polite, a kid his age should be shouting, laughing loudly as he drove his parents mad with his endless energy.

"What?" He answered gruffly, not taking his eyes off the too small child, eyes narrowing in on the faded bruises on his arms, the few cuts he had on his chest and the long deliberate scars peeking out from his collar. A few of them were still a violent red, he made note to get some potions and balms soon.

_This shouldn't be happening._

A child his age should never even know the meaning of the word pain; he should be protected and coddled, cherished and loved by his family.

"Are you evil too?"

Moody blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected that question, but then again, perhaps he should have. He knew how disfigured he looked, like a monster from a fairy tale, eager to kidnap misbehaving children for his supper. He'd lost count over the years of just how many children had run away after seeing his face, screaming in terror as they ran for the comfort and safety of their mother's arms. But this kid, he didn't look scared at after asking his peculiar question, only curious.

"Why you ask?" He questioned back, not wanting to answer, not right now, not when his whole life was falling apart at the seams around him.

_Why had the ministry done this?_

_Why hadn't Dumbledore stopped this from happening?_

_Why did no one fight for this child?_

"Because!" The boy remarked happily as he jumped off his bed, his dark curls flying about haphazardly around his head. He grinned crookedly as he walked up to the bars, no fear showing as he moved closer.

"I'm a dark lord, so I'll need followers once I take over the castle!" With that the child held his hand out, close to the bars as he gestured for a handshake. "My name is Harry Potter, and I think you would be a wicked follower, I bet no one would dare challenge you!"

And with that, his whole world finally fell apart.

What world did he live in? What society would willingly lock up their own savior, a child who can't even perform magic yet?! The boy a Dark Lord? He knew more spells to cause death and pain than this child could even imagine. He doubted the boy could even read properly yet!

How far they had all fallen, that his world had come to this...

He reached out mechanically, his large hand practically engulfing the child's own.

"That's what you're in here for eh?" He asked the excited boy, his mind shutting down as he looked into those now familiar green eyes. Green eyes he had once seen in a spitfire of a woman, a woman he had been proud to help train and call a friend.

_She had been so young too… were the good all fated to such a cruel fate?_

_What would she think of this?_

_What would… what would his- Emily think of this?_

The boy smiled brightly as they shook hands and nodded his head eagerly. "Yup! The people in funny dresses helped me figure it out!" His eyes went wide as he leaned in to whisper. "But don't worry, I already have a master plan! I mean, what sort of Dark Lord would I be if I let those guys win?!"

Moody forced a smile as he ended their handshake. "Not a very good one, I suppose." He murmured absently, his eyes distant as he took in the boy's words, as the puzzle in his mind slowly clicked into place, revealing numerous horrifying truths. He paused; amazed at child's beaming expression.

_Who could possibly be happy in this hell… what was his life before, to believe this to be home?_

Slowly he reached through the bars and ruffled the boy's silky locks, amazed at how soft the hair felt between his fingers.

_He's just a boy. Just a small boy all alone in the world._

The child's whole expression changed, going quickly to shock and awe, then to a forlorn stare filled with longing as those green eyes watched him pull back his hand from behind the bars.

He couldn't take this.

He wasn't strong enough.

Had anyone ever even given him a hug, had he ever been touched with warmth and affection? Or had it all been done with the intention to cause harm?

There were too many unanswered questions in his mind.

Too many questions that he feared the answers to.

And so, with one last glance at those large green eyes, he walked away.

The long trek back to the entrance of this thrice damned castle was silent save for the noise of the prisoners. His mind was in chaos, filled with images of a small boy who didn't even reach his hip, of a child who was so happy to have his own room, to be able to eat pudding and to no longer have to work in order to live.

A child who considered hell on earth their home and sanctuary.

His eyes met with coffee brown orbs, and instantly he saw understanding and pain in those eyes.

He wondered if his eyes looked the same.

The young man walked towards him, shoulders drooping as he noticed Moody was alone. The runt took a deep breath, seeming hesitant before finally asking the one question haunting them both.

"Moody… we're… we're the good guys right? I mean… this… this is just a terrible mistake… Right?"

Moody turned to look at the kid, his mind still on wide green eyes, on a child who had unknowingly destroyed everything he had once thought he knew.

"I'm not sure anymore."

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**_A/N: _**_I hope everyone has enjoyed this chapter and that it wasn't too confusing. Harry thinks with a completely different mind frame than the adults he interacts with, so what he sees is completely different at times than what the adults are noticing. I thought this chapter would be good to give a small bit of explanation on why Moody is seeing Harry, and why it seems no one is concerned with the fact that a six year old is rotting away in prison. Thank you for reading this tale and please leave a review if you've enjoyed it! I always love to read them as they fill me with so much joy and motivation, thank you._

_Till next time…_


	5. Monkey's Make for the Best of Friends

**_A/N:_**_Sorry for the wait for this chapter was helping my brother write an essay on business and econ… terrible terrible subject that just bleed your brain dry. Anywho I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the newest addition to the cast, for anyone confused on him, he will be explained later! Also thank you everyone for the lovely reviews! _

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Besides OC, characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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**_In which Harry meets a master thief! … Or just a really smart monkey_**

There was a monkey on his bed.

Harry blearily blinked his eyes at the small mammal before slowly closing them and opening them again just as slowly. Margret had warned him that staying alone in a room for long periods of time could lead to hallucinations, but he'd been quick to dismiss her. After all, he used to spend weeks locked away in his cupboard before he learned to control his gift, and the spiders he'd found there could vouch for the strength of his mental health.

Well, when they weren't dancing of course. You never bothered a dancing spider after all.

Which was why he felt disappointed in himself when after opening his eyes he'd found the monkey was still sitting on his bed, this time staring at him with an indescribable look.

He didn't really have a problem with it, in fact, he'd never seen a real monkey before, and was confused on why his new friend didn't have wings, he was certain he'd seen them with rather large black wings on the telly once… But then again he'd never seen a green woman either so perhaps it depended on the country and species?

However, none of this excused the monkey's horrible lack of social manners.

He sighed softly and sat up a bit from his once comfortable position, letting his back lean against his pillow. "So..." He hummed thoughtfully, already knowing why the wingless primate had decided to pay him a visit.

"You've heard of me than huh?" Harry shook his head, trying his hardest not to smile bashfully. "Look I know. It's an amazing thing, not everyone gets to see the birth of greatness but…" He gave the monkey a highly disappointed look, even making sure to let his lips droop like his Aunt's did whenever Dudley thought it was a good idea to eat bugs. "You can't just barge into someone's room like this, it's highly improper. What if I had been in a state of undress?" Harry asked the monkey, trying to sound as scandalized as possible. Petunia always shrieked loudly whenever Dudley barged into her room. She screamed the loudest if he barged in while she was in a state of undress or whenever her and Vernon were having their alone time. Which led Harry to two conclusions. One being caught in a state of undress was one of the most terrible things that could ever happen, and alone time was really code word for some strange torture ritual. As he could still remember Dudley paling whenever he passed by his parents door after that, looked a bit sick as well. So Harry was well aware that barging in to someone's room unannounced was quite rude thing to do.

The monkey merely kept staring at him.

Harry chuckled and patted the poor thing's head; his poor new friend must have been struck dumb at the realization of his grievous error. "There are rules you know when it comes to visiting someone. I mean, even my ninja's know there's a set time when they're allowed to visit me! Course that might have to do more with there fear of light than anything else… really have to work on that…" Harry started muttering to himself before blushing in embarrassment. Now look at who was being improper! Really, ignoring his guest while discussing covert information, his demon father would not be pleased with him right now.

If he was still alive that is.

Do demons even die?

Wouldn't they just go back to hell? His father was probably ruling over the tormented souls in hell with a lovely pitchfork. A pitchfork Harry had still yet to receive after discovering his heritage. Really he knew the post was slow but this was an outrageous wait.

He made a quick mental note to find hell one of these days, perhaps it was a test all young demons went through, and once he found the entrance his father would help teach him everything he would ever need to know in order to take over the world!

And of course, he would no doubt be gifted with his very own pitchfork by that point.

Smiling dreamily he shook his head and turned his attention back to his new ally. "Well since its obvious why you're here there's not much we need to discuss thankfully." Harry smiled at his small soon to be follower before reaching under his pillow to pull out a crayon and one of his new notebooks that his pirate had been generous enough to gift him with.

Really, his followers were just too kind.

Humming under his breath he opened the notebook and started drawing little swirls around a few numbers he had been practicing earlier. Trying his hardest to adopt a stern expression on his face he turned back to his monkey. "Ok, once we work up a contract I'll be sure to schedule you in for a meeting let's say…" He muttered a bit under his breath before his eyes lightened in excitement at the drawing of pudding, circling it quickly he shut the book in satisfaction. "What do you think of next Wednesday?" He smiled softly at the small monkey, watching its tail twitched curiously as he hid his notebook back under his pillow, patting it once for good measure. "They serve the best pudding then, I'm sure it'll be up to your taste as we discuss the cause."

The monkey whimpered softly and bowed its head in grief, making Harry's heart melt. He soothingly patted its soft furry shoulders. "Look it's alright! I'm sure you didn't realize you were disturbing my sleep. I mean, when it comes to allying yourself to a Dark Lord, it's quite easy to forget yourself and come around at inopportune times. Even Margret forgets sometimes, have you met Margret? I'll let you know she's a charmer that one, already on her tenth husband." He giggled and winked at the monkey's wide ice blue eyes. "Spend enough time around her and she may even make you lucky eleven!" Harry hummed in thought. "Tried to take me for a husband at one point, but was disappointed when she found out I'm six." Harry shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Apparently I'm older than her grandfather, and she prefers her men young unlike her sister. But she really doesn't talk about Livy if she can help it."

The monkey collapsed on his bed, amazed at Margret's female charms no doubt. Truthfully, Harry was equally impressed with his gossipy friend. She had told him it was a sign of good breeding to have multitudes of husbands, therefore he could only hope to be half as great as her someday. He hummed thoughtfully to himself as he studied his new follower. He was quite small, which was saying something since Harry wasn't all that tall himself; and wearing a lovely dark red vest with what seemed like little black snakes running through the fabric. He had a pair of silver bands on his wrist that pulsed with some unknown force.

Harry really wanted to poke the bands, but decided against it for now, best to take baby steps when it came to his follower's personal space after all.

All in all Harry thought the new addition to his cause was very adorable but didn't dare to mention it. He knew some people became easily offended at being called cute or some variation of the word; his poor pirate had been struck dumb just the other day when Harry has casually commented that the skull buttons on his pirate's coat were very lovely. He was touched really, at the level of dedication his followers had to the cause, they always did their absolute best to appear as evil as possible.

It just brought tears of pride to his eyes.

After a close inspection Harry could tell that his newest follower was the quiet and serious sort, something which he could fully appreciate. Harry had spent years learning the hidden art of silence near his relatives, who he preferred to call by their codenames (Majorca Whale, Grease Whale, and his personally favorite, Horse Whale. It took a special skill to combine two unlikely creatures but Harry had managed to do just that!) His eyes brightened as a brilliant thought struck him. Jumping up quickly and making his newest follower startle at bit at the action he grabbed hold of the gentle monkey's hand and shook it eagerly. "I just know you're going to be one of my favorites." Harry grinned at the small and now obviously proud primate. "And for that I shall give you a new codename!" The monkey seemed to perk in interest; no doubt he had never met a Dark Lord so generous as to bestow upon his loyal subjects a name of their very own. "I Harry James Potter shall name thee…" Harry could feel his magic lazily swimming up within him, seeming to sing as he started the oddly worded phrase. His monkey seemed to feel it as well since he started to screech quite loudly, no doubt overcome with emotion and understanding of what a great gift Harry was about to bestow upon him. "Bill from the land of Thieves!" His monkey seemed to droop at the name, his poor shoulders unable to handle the full emotion that struck him at belonging to such a high order. Harry gave him a few moments to collect himself, completely understanding that Bill was overwhelmed by this honor. "I knew you would like the name." Harry smiled at the newly named Bill with obvious excitement. "Uncle would always rant about the no good monkeys and beggars that would steal wallet whenever he went on vacation." Harry smirked at his follower. "I'm honored to have a Master Thief as my newest follower, and hope you will help me and mine in our quest for greatness!" Harry squealed excitedly as he lifted his arms in the air with excitement. He had known from the very moment his eyes had laid on his monkey that he would be great for the cause. After all, with a Master Thief working with him there was no telling what they would be able to accomplish!

"Hey Bill…" He started curiously once the excitement had won off. "How did you get in here anyways?"

Bill just stared blankly at him, his emotions far too strong to handle at the moment before pointing with a trembling hand to the green slime oozing from the room's walls.

Harry huffed before pouting. "I knew that slime wasn't normal!"

And that, is how Harry came to find his Master Thief.

* * *

**_A/N:_**_I hope you all have enjoyed this little chapter, let's just say Harry's newest addition to the cause will definitely lead to some interesting times! I just hope he's not too odd for everyone, though he will be explained at a later point in time. Hopefully the next chapter will have Harry finally meeting a few prisoners now that he knows how to escape from his room. Thank you all for your lovely reviews and please leave one if you've enjoyed this chapter as well? They always make me smile when I see how much everyone enjoys this tale!_

_Till next time… _


	6. Who Says Girls Can't Be Cool?

**_A/N: _**_Sorry for the wait, sometimes I have ideas for this story and struggle to figure out how they can best fit the plot. This is a sorta not really interlude since everything that happens here will be important later on (way later) let's just say Harry has a knack for making friends in odd places. I hope you all enjoy and thank you everyone for your lovely reviews! They're great and always give me motivation and happiness. Thank you!_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters besides monkey belong to J.K. Rowling_

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**_In which everyone needs a friend_**

His aunt used to say life is but a series of coincidences, some more preferable than others. By that point she would glare at him as if he were of the latter, a wicked sneer on her lips before she would order him about for the day; with his cousin simply staring at them dumbly with a bag of crisps in his hands. But to him, those words held a sacred truth to them and because of that, he would fully welcome whatever future may come for him. After all, had he never spoken to the snake in his garden on that fated day, he would never have ended up in his castle. His pirate and ninja's, even his friend Bill would all be a distant impossible dream.

Not to mention, because of his Aunt's fear of him… he finally learned the truth of his heritage… and maybe someday would be able to make his father proud because of it.

So for him, coincidences were important, and the right ones were something to take joy in. Especially if they helped him succeed in his quest of taking over the world. He liked to think that perhaps fate was in agreement with him on that fact, and was quite willing to help him in his goals.

Which is why when he awoke to find himself in a dense forest filled with softly singing fairies and a babbling brook, along with beautiful flowers that he wasn't quite sure were real he didn't panic or start worrying about how he ended up here to begin with.

He was very reasonable with his response.

Which was mostly trying to catch the pretty fairies around him and when that plan failed horribly (who knew fairies could bite?) he merely sat in the small meadow and cooed at the lovely flowers swaying gently in the pleasant breeze. He loved flowers, which might seem odd since he had been forced to care for them by his Aunt for so many years, but it had only made his love of the plant grow. The scent of earth always calmed him as he worked in the garden, surrounded by the buzzing sound of life. The very flowers themselves always released a heady scent in the air that would make him oddly sleepy but comfortable, as if he were being wrapped in a loving embrace. Not to mention should the sun become overbearing in its relentless heat, they would always make sure to shade his small form from the worst of it, giving him a much needed respite.

While he was pondering the pros and cons of making a flower circlet and if he had enough time perhaps taking care of the few weeds he could see popping up between a patch of daisies, a strange sound started to drift out from deeper in the forest. It was too far away for him to accurately tell what it was but somehow hearing it made him frown. It wasn't a pleasant noise, and it seemed odd to hear such a thing in this lovely forest. Pausing for a quick moment, he grabbed a handful of lilies with him before entering the forest, grinning brightly when the flowers let off a faint light to help guide his path.

Whispering a thank you to the helpful lilies he started to make his way through the root filled path before him. It was terribly dark and gloomy here; it was almost as if the sun couldn't reach into the forest, for its light would be quickly devoured should it even try. Strange creatures he had never seen before kept moving from tree to tree as he walked forward, they were too quick for him to accurately make out what they were but something told him they wouldn't be good conversationalist even if he could stop one long enough to try and hold one. He decided once he found what was making that odd noise he'll see about talking to the strange creatures and asking them if they would like to enlist into his service.

With that idea firmly in place he continued in his journey, stopping every now and then when the strange noise either sounded close to him or too far away. Finally after tripping over numerous roots and having his clothes ripped and torn by the thick thorns reaching out from the darkness around him, he was able to make his way into a dark and dying meadow. The flowers here seemed decayed and in mourning, their lovely petals wilting off slowly to land on the dead earth as they struggled to find a source of light that would never reach them. The trees surrounding the small meadow were all twisted and warped, their bark decayed and the colour of night. Something felt terribly wrong about them and for the first time in recent memory, Harry was worried.

In the very center of the dark meadow was a girl crying all alone. She seemed a bit older than him though he couldn't be certain. Her white blonde hair was dull and tangled with knots and bits of earth while her skin was sickly pale and was covered in small cuts and bruises. The light blue pinafore she wore was ripped in a few places and covered in mud and dirt. He frowned as he noticed the large bruise growing around her neck, as if someone had held her much too strongly there for too long of a time.

For the faintest of moments, she brought up memories of a cupboard and a large man filled with anger, she brought him memories of pain and terror. Then just as quickly the moment had passed and such thoughts were locked away once more.

Looking at her in confusion while he wondered how she had ended up in this dreary place he asked her the first thing that came to mind.

"Are you dead?"

The girl immediately stopped crying and looked at him with broken cornflower blue eyes, the bloodshot orbs seemed defeated but there was righteous anger there if one was to look deep enough.

She quickly stood up and walked over to him, her few extra inches of height suddenly making her seem quite terrifying in his opinion as her eyes lit up with wild anger. "I am not you dummy!" She screeched, the sharp sound making him wince as his ears began to ring. Huffing loudly she crossed her arms over her chest before her bottom lip started trembling; her eyes welling up with tears. "But when I wake up… I will be…" She sniffed loudly as tears fell from her eyes, her small hands tried in vain to wipe them away. "I want my mama!" She cried out loudly before plopping down on the earth again, fat tears rolling down her cheeks to land on her dress as she sobbed openly.

Harry stared at her awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He had never seen a crying person up close before, besides Dudley but he didn't think whales counted all that much. Nervously sitting next to the girl and hoping she wouldn't scream at him again he warily patted her shoulder. "Oh." He mumbled before looking at her in confusion. "Why don't you just go to her than?" He questioned, genuinely curious.

She sniffled loudly as she grabbed the edge of her pinafore, tugging and playing with the soft material. "I was k-kidnapped." She stuttered weakly. "Mama told me not to wonder off but the man said he had a c-crup." A few tears leaked out of her eyes again. "And I really wanted one!"

Harry nodded, a serious expression on his face. Seeing the girl starting to calm down he smiled at her sheepishly. "So…" He started casually. "What's a crup?"

The girl merely looked at him with an exasperated expression. "How can you not know what a crup is?!" She shouted in outrage, her cheeks red with anger from his lack of knowledge. "They're the best pet anyone can have! They're so loyal and cute and really really fluffy! Even if the foolish English like to cut off their poor tails…"

Harry's eyes widened as he listened to the girls tirade, trying in his head to picture a fluffy dog that apparently had tail problems. "Do they have any special abilities?" He questioned eagerly, wondering about this strange breed of dog he had never seen before.

The girl huffed before smiling at him with a smug expression. "Of course! They bite really hard. She told him with a sharp grin, her eyes filled with dark amusement. "I had a cousin who tried to cut off the second tail of one the muggle way." Her nose wrinkled in disgust before she smirked. "He still has scars from it." Shrugging she added. "It's ok though, I never really liked him anyway."

Harry grinned excitedly. "That sounds amazing! I wonder how strong their bites are!" He giggled in excitement. "Maybe if I promise them treats they'll become my followers!"

The girl looked at him with a startled expression. "Followers?"

Harry nodded his head eagerly. "Yeah! I forgot to mention it for a moment there, but I'm a Dark Lord on the rise!" He answered her proudly as she stared at him with wide shocked eyes. Looking around to make sure no one could hear them he also added. "And a demon too, from my fathers side of the family."

The girl ohhed at his response before tilting her head curiously. "But you don't look scary at all, how can you be a demon or Dark Lord?" She squinted her eyes as she looked him over. "And you don't really look crazy…"

Harry shrugged. "My aunt said I was a demon cause I can talk to snakes. Then I had a trial to prove I was a Dark Lord."

The girl nodding, a look of understanding passing through her eyes. "That makes sense! Mama said there was an evil person who could speak to snakes once." She smiled brightly at him. "Maybe you're related!"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Someone else could also speak to snakes?" He hummed thoughtfully. "It would be fun to know more my family…"

Seeing the girl start to giggle he looked at her in worry. He didn't know much about girls, but the way she acted made him dizzy with how quickly she would go from crying to mad to happy. Girls were just weird.

"What's so funny?" He asked her as her face started to go red from lack of air.

She shook her head for a moment, a few peals of laughter slipping out of her lips as she hugged her ribs. "I-it's just you're littler than me! A baby Dark Lord!" With that she seemed to lose it as she fell to the floor in a fit of laughter, her eyes tearing up for a reason other than sadness.

Harry pouted at her. "Size has nothing to do with it! I'll still take over the world with my army of evil doers!"

The girl snorted at him as she tried to catch her breath. "Still funny." Giggling a bit she added, "I wish I could see your so called evil army." She grinned at him. "Are they all babies like you?"

Harry scowled at her, though it looked more like a pout than anything else. "They are not! I have a pirate and ninja's on my side! Along with some other cool powerful followers!" He stuck out his tongue at her. "There's no babies in my army!" Thinking back on what she said he frowned. "And why can't you see my followers?" Looking at her his brows furrowed in confusion. "You could probably join my followers if you wanted." He added nicely. "You're scary enough."

The girl gave him a mock glare before shaking her head as she brought her knees to her chest. "I can't… I was kidnapped remember?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah but what does that have to do with anything?"

The girl tugged at her light blonde hair, grimacing at all the knots and tangles. "My family is made of veela's, we're very powerful and prestigious and because of how we look lot's of people like to do bad things to us." Her eyes watered slightly. "The thing is…" She bit her bottom lip, a flash of terror flittering through her eyes. "Mama said they like to touch us in secret places if they capture us… if I get touched… I'll d-d-die." She finished in a hushed whisper.

Harry frowned. "I don't want you to die." Seeing the girl look at him in confusion he continued with a small smile. "Well… you're kind of like an ally now right?" Seeing her nod hesitantly he continued. "And well… I'm a Dark Lord, I can't lose allies because of bad people."

She smiled softly at him. "I wish you could save me from the really bad people, I bet they wouldn't know what to do against a Dark Lord."

Harry grinned. "Why don't you save yourself?"

She shook her head. "I can't mama said I need to behave like a proper woman, woman have to be saved, like in the stories."

Harry stuck out his tongue at that. "Well that sounds silly!" He pouted. "Why wait to be saved? I'm sure you can do it yourself if you really tried!" He nodded determinedly to himself. "And if you save yourself than you can definitely join my followers, maybe even be in the inner circle!"

"I can't though!" She replied adamantly. "Girls can't do boy things! It's bad!"

Harry frowned thoughtfully. "Why not?" He gestured to the flowers in his hands. "I do girl things sometimes; I don't think that's a bad thing at all."

The girl shook her head. "Cause it's bad and improper, and not allowed!" Her eyes dimmed slightly. "It's unsightly and no husband would want a boyish girl for a bride."

Harry looked at her in concern. "You don't really believe that though, do you?"

The small girl blinked owlishly and nodded dazedly before looking down in shame. "You're… you're right…I don't believe it." She smiled sadly. "I like playing in the mud and beating up the stupid boys in class who think I'm dumb just because I'm pretty." A wicked glint filled her eyes. "I like climbing trees and making messes and being silly!" She pulled angrily at her dress. "I don't even like dresses! They're so hard to move in and you have to be careful of how you sit while wearing one! But mama... She wouldn't love me anymore if I didn't act like a girl…" Her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Harry looked down at the flowers in his hand. They light they exuded had steadily been getting brighter the longer they stayed in the dark forest. Feeling comforted by the familiar scent they exuded he took a deep breath, trying to fight the heavy feeling in his chest. "You know… I don't have a mama…" He started idly, his eyes glued on his lap; not wanting to see how the girl would look at him because of his lack of parents. "Or a papa… they both died a long time ago and left me with people who hated demons…" His eyes filled with sadness as his heart ached from a loss he couldn't even remember.

"But… you're a nice demon…" The girl started, seeming shocked at his admission. "Even if you are a baby dark lord… I can't see why anyone would hate you…" She smiled and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You're too nice!"

Harry smiled at her and shook his head. "I think… maybe they were scared I would be mean to them one day… after all I do aim to rule the world." He grinned before gazing at the decaying meadow around them. "I don't remember my parents… not really. But… I know mamas and papas are supposed to love their children…" He smiled in thought. He wondered if his mama once loved him too, maybe that's why he wasn't in the car with them when it crashed? "That's why… I think no matter what you do… even if you don't act really girly like your mama wants you to… I think she'll still love you." He touched one of the wilting flowers on the ground, marveling at how soft it felt between his fingers. "After all… that's what mama's are for… to love us, even when they're gone."

"Do you…" She started unsurely, not wanting to upset the small boy she was starting to see as a friend. "Do you think you're mama loves you? Even now when she's with back with mother magic?"

Harry stilled for a moment, caught in memories from his time with his aunt and uncle before shaking his head slowly. "I'm not sure… but… I'll like to think that she does… no matter what others might say."

She nodded before standing up. "Mama… she loves me… I think she would be sad if I died…"

Harry grinned at her. "Then don't die." He stood up as well, patting the dirt off of his shorts. "Besides I would be sad too."

The girl smiled hesitantly back at him. "But I don't know what to do… or how to escape…"

Harry hummed thoughtfully. "You said before you were a veela… do you have a super power maybe?"

The girl blushed and nodded, fumbling with her dress nervously. "I do… but I'm not supposed to use them… since people would look at me like I'm a creature and that's bad…" She murmured sadly.

"Use them." Harry said seriously. "Let them think whatever they want, no matter how silly it is." He smiled at her as his eyes filled with determination. "Then when you're older you can join my followers, and I'll make it so that being a creature isn't a bad thing, no matter what others say or think." He rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Besides, I'm a demon; I think it would be weird if I didn't help creatures when I am one."

The girl smiled brightly at her before giving him a hug. "I don't like acting like a perfect girl… I'm just going to be me now, no matter what." She smiled at him. "Thank you for helping me."

He smiled brightly and shook his head. "You helped yourself." He paused for a moment before blushing in embarrassment. "Erm… what was your name again?"

The girl laughed loudly before holding out her hand. "My name is Fleur, baby dark lord."

Harry pouted at her as he grabbed her hand. "You have to stop calling me that!" Shaking his head he smiled. "Besides, my friends call me Harry."

Fleur simply smiled slyly at him. "We'll see." Flames started to surround her small body, making the once dark and gloomy meadow fill with light. The darkness seemed to melt away and for a moment, Harry could see how beautiful this forest once was. Maybe it would be filled with life again one day. "Harry." Looking at Fleur he smiled as her cornflower blue eyes met his own. "One day, I'll join your followers." She smirked. "But you better become the best Dark Lord in the world!"

Harry smiled brightly and nodded. "Wouldn't dream of anything less."

With one more shared smile between the two, the flames quickly grew until it was impossible to see anything else but its brilliant light. Just as the light started to grow unbearable it suddenly disappeared, taking Fleur along with it. Before he could even wonder where his friend had gone the forest began to fade around him, taking him far away from the dark meadow as well.

* * *

**_Omake_**

Fleur opened her eyes slowly, grimacing in disgust at the fat man walking towards her. The ugly man grinned, showing off his rotten yellow teeth as his eyes seemed swallow her whole. "Already up princess?" He slurred, smelling faintly of booze and sewage. "Time ta check the merchandise then eh?" He eagerly rubbed his dirty hands together. "Me and the others can't wait ta play with ya."

Fleur trembled in fear as she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the foul beast get any closer to her. She desperately wished she was still asleep, at least then she wouldn't have to feel this torture as she died here all alone.

_"__Why don't you save yourself?"_

Gasping in surprise she opened her eyes. Shakily she brought a hand to her chest, the memories of her dream coming back to her. But was it truly a dream? It had felt so real…

Flinching as she felt the man grab hold of her ankle to pull her closer she screeched angrily. A burning inferno seemed to fill her chest, the rage she felt at her attacker and kidnappers making her conveniently forget all the lessons on proper decorum her mother had once tried to instill within her.

Opening her eyes she barely noted the man gasping in shock as her once blue eyes were now illuminated with undiluted power from her heritage. She remembered her friend, and their promise.

No one would hurt her.

She would not be touched.

While she was a girl, that fact would no longer stop her.

Smiling darkly at the now terrified man she held her hand up, taking delight in his scream of fear as blue fire erupted from her fingertips.

"Yes." She agreed with nonchalance. "Let's play shall we?"

* * *

Fleur smiled tiredly as she was wrapped in her mother's embrace. The woman's shoulder shook with sobs as she held her close.

She sighed and laid her head on her mama's shoulder, enjoying the familiar scent of lavender that now surrounded her.

"This is insane!" Blinking at the loud voice Fleur looked curiously at the aurors as they struggled to put out the fire in the burning building. "I can't believe we finally caught these bastards!" Another one laughed in relief. "All thanks to faulty muggle equipment!"

Fleur smirked before hugging her mother back. She felt free and utterly relieved that her heritage and power had not failed her. Thinking back on bright green eyes she vowed to train her powers more. One day she would find the silly baby dark lord and gladly stand by his side as they changed their world. After all… that's what friends were for.

* * *

**_Omake 2_**

Harry yawned as he slowly woke up, giggling as the first thing he saw was Bill's face looming over him. Shaking his head he pushed the monkey back, ignoring its screech of outrage as he slowly sat up from his bed and stretched.

"I had a good dream last night." He started, swinging his legs to and fro as Bill continued to grumble. Laughing at his follower's antics he thought back on the scary girl he had met, before grimacing at the nickname she had given him, he truly hoped it wouldn't catch on.

After all, how was he supposed to instill fear in the hearts of many if they all thought him a baby?

Though he had to admit… it was nice having a new friend.

Seeing Bill glaring at him he chuckled and patted his follower on his furry shoulder. "Oh don't worry Bill." He smiled softly as the small monkey looked at him in confusion. "You can be my friend too, no need to be jealous."

At the monkey's loud screech he couldn't help but laugh. Having friends was great; he just knew that one day they would all be able to take over the world together! He couldn't wait for that day to come.

"Ouch! Bill no biting! Maybe I should get a crup…"

At least he knew until that day came… life would never be boring in his castle in the sea.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Thank you everyone for reading this tale, and I hope you liked the two extra scenes. I hope I called them the right thing, since they were too small for one shots but I thought everyone would still enjoy them. Thank you all for your lovely reviews and sorry for the wait! If you enjoyed this chapter please leave a review if you can? They always make me smile, thank you so much! _

_Till next time…_


	7. Hey Pops

**_A/N:_**_This chapter was meant to be humorous to counteract the last one however… it went a bit odd near the middle, first being funny, then oddly serious, just to end all silly. Either way, I hope everyone enjoys the latest installment of Harry's odd adventures. Also, thank you all so much for your lovely review! They also provide me with motivation and make me smile. Thank you. _

_And now…_

_Onwards…_

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**_Besides Oc's, characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

* * *

**_In Which Slime Sucks, and Parenthood is Frightening_**

Harry stared at his slime covered wall with a contemplative expression on his youthful features. In truth, he had expected there to be more to his room. After all, he was a Dark Lord on the rise, and as such it was his right to be able to find out brilliant things about his castle and those that dwelled within it… and if he played a few pranks here and there on his path of discovery, well… really who would complain?

Even Bill tended to agree with him.

At least, Harry assumed he did, in all honestly he stopped listening after one too many tirades of angry screeching. Now he just patted Bill on the head and moved his hand away before the irate monkey could try and bite off one of his precious fingers.

Again.

Squinting his eyes he stared intently at the slime, trying his best to inspect it and uncover the secrets it hid from his sight. There was nothing overly special about it if he was being honest with himself. It was green, kind of dirty and it… oozed. Constantly.

In all honestly it reminded him of Dudley's boogies, just in a larger quantity. And minus a whale or two.

Running a hand through his messy hair he turned his skeptic eyes to his newest follower. "Are you sure this is it? Because this is kind of a let down. I mean, yeah I bet it works wonders but… the presentation… it's just not my cup of tea." He smiled apologetically at his poor follower, willing himself to ignore the slime that he _swore_ was moving towards him.

If it got in his hair…

"Look, I'm sure we can find some other exit… somewhere else, this one just leaves way too much to be desired!" He refused to admit he was begging. Dark Lords don't beg, they inspire fear and hopelessness onto the masses. They unleashed armies of wicked demons into the world while cackling evilly as they sat on a throne made from the bones of their enemies. Though… that sounded _extremely _uncomfortable, he was sure others would still take him seriously if his throne was comfy. Yes, no worries there.

But still, no begging was allowed.

Even if they were faced with a slime covered wall that was now… blowing slime bubbles his way; he swore he could even hear it _giggle_.

How… lovely.

Ok, he was done. Turning his attention towards Bill he hit his follower with his best puppy dog eyes, the ones that got him extra servings of pudding on Wednesday and new colouring books whenever the old ones stopped entertaining him. Nothing, absolutely nothing could fight off his sweet and pleading gaze. It was utterly impossible to do anything but submit once faced with his innocent visage.

Bill just stared blankly at him before shaking his head in what appeared to be disappointment and purposely walked towards the slime covered wall.

If he didn't know any better, he would swear that his follower was mocking him.

Harry pouted, not that he would admit it, even under the threat of no dessert. But this was just utterly unfair! Sure he wanted to explore his new home, after all he would rule the world from here one day, and it would be pretty embarrassing if as a Demon Lord he became lost in his own castle just from not knowing where anything was.

And no one made maps for old and ancient castles; just the very idea of it was ridiculous! Next thing you'll know people will even tell him you could even make it magical, maybe with it telling you where you were compared to others. He snorted at the silly idea.

But still, who on earth thought slime was a great transportation method, why not something better; like chocolate? Harry loved chocolate! He would quite honestly jump headfirst into a wall dripping with chocolate and have no regrets whatsoever. It sounded like a far better idea for moving around his castle than slime did.

He sighed, just another thing he would have to fix when he gained control of the world he supposed.

Visibly drooping in despair, since he knew there was no way out of this he looked down at his trusted follower. "So what do I do exactly?" He asked curiously as he gestured towards the wall. "Do I jump towards it, touch it?" His expression suddenly became horrified. "Oh hell, don't tell me I have to eat it!"

Bill merely face palmed and shook his head. Harry felt sorry for his little follower, he really did. The poor monkey always seemed to be under so much stress, he'd never seen him smile, not even a small twitch of his lips. His expressions always seemed to be stuck between sour and 'get away from me before I end you with my bare hands'. He'd try to convince Bill to sit down and have a chat with Margret once, maybe talking about his feelings while listening to some juicy gossip would help the poor guy finally relax and let loose a bit. Alas, his follower had been quite against it.

Harry had never known a crayon could be used in that way.

It was most definitely a learning experience.

Though on an unfortunate note it did end with Margret filing a restraining order against Bill, which made things a tad awkward whenever the two visited him. It was clear the duo would never be bosom buddies, that's for sure.

Before he could question Bill more on just how he was supposed to leave his room through use of what he now suspected was semi sentient slime, his follower rushed at him with a loud screech. Harry barely had time to yelp in surprise before the two of them were pulled into his wall with a loud pop as the slime seemed to quite happily swallow them whole.

He panicked for the first few moments, quickly assuming the slime had somehow become aware of his quest to take over the world and decided to devour him before he could even begin to make his dream a reality. He closed his eyes as soon as the slime closed in on them, not the least bit ashamed to admit he wasn't particularly looking forward to seeing himself be consumed. At that thought he started to twist about in the slime's surprisingly strong hold he tried his best to fight his way out. He didn't want to be eaten! He still had so much to do! And tomorrow was pudding day! You just couldn't eat a bloke before then!

That was just terrible manners!

After a few more minutes of fruitless struggle he paused as he realized he was still alive and had not been consumed. In fact he felt fine, there was no terrible slime monster chewing him to bits for trespassing in its domain, which he probably would have realized sooner if he hadn't panicked.

How… embarrassing.

He made a note to have Bill never mention this. Ever.

Opening his eyes he felt them widen in awe as he took a look around them. Thousands upon thousands of doors surrounded him from all sides. Some of them were rather intricate, with strange designs carved into the wood; depicting creatures he swore could not truly exist except in the minds of others. Others were plainer yet still seemed impressing in their own right, while their doors held no imagery they exuded an aura of strength and defiance, pride and anger. It made him curious on what could behind these strange doors. A small few were broken beyond repair, the doors seemingly unable to open as there was no handle, with the carved wood splintered and burnt at some parts, as if it had suffered from a great attack. Everywhere he looked there was an odd green tinge to his surroundings, which he assumed came from the slime. Turning around he blinked in surprise as he saw his room just behind him, the image wavered slightly however, as if he was looking at everything from under water.

Shaking his head he started to inspect the doors. Each door, no matter how battered or strong they appeared, had odd words surrounding them. They hung in the air, just a breath away from whatever door they were tied to. The strange words glowed bright red and were in constant motion. For some of the doors, these words were surrounded by shapes as well, usually a circle or triangle, which after closer inspection Harry noted that the shapes were made of out more words bound tightly together. They seemed to buzz with power and made him curious on what would happen should he touch the strange letters. His pirate and guard had taken to teaching him how to read and write, but he had never seen these words before, and the shapes of the letters didn't match those of the alphabet he was currently learning. He shrugged; maybe he'll learn about them later.

Looking around for Bill he smiled when he noticed the monkey standing just a few doors away from him. Walking over he couldn't help but gape in awe at the door they were standing beside. This door appeared ancient, it wasn't battered or broken down as some of the others were, no, but the feeling it exuded made Harry think of a time that has long since past. Brilliant and powerful looking creatures were carved into the door, depicting scenes of battle and fire. A dragon caught mid roar, a bird flying as it cried out a song of fire. And beneath them lay a battle between what he could only assume was man and monster, creatures he had never seen before battled the humans, some had large horns, others had animal like tails and ears, a few even had wings. Without even thinking he reached out with a hand to touch the engraving, his eyes and senses trapped in a battle he had never seen and never will. Bill began to protest as he noticed what Harry was doing but he barely paid his follower any mind. He gasped in surprise when his hand touched the door, making the strange word sequence above it go unbearably bright. It released a red light before striking straight through his chest, making him gasp as he felt a strange energy suddenly flood through his body. Unbeknownst to him his eyes began to glow an eerie green as his hair lifted to an unfelt wind. Images passed through his mind at an alarming rate, much to fast for him to take much note of them, but the emotions he felt from the strange images lingered.

Horror.

Pain.

Fear.

Sorrow.

Joy.

Hope.

Love.

On and on they rushed through him, seeming to be asking something of him while also attempting to break him apart.

In the farthest corner of his mind, he could hear someone sobbing.

Glaring at the door he gritted his teeth as they strange energy began to thrum painfully through him, he could hear Bill screeching at him, but he wasn't going to stop, not now. After all, he was confused, he knew he didn't know much about the world, as Fleur had gleefully pointed out with his lack of knowledge on crups, but that did not mean he planned to stay that way! He wanted to learn more about this world he lived in. He wanted to meet the strange creatures talked about in myths and legends; he wanted to make true friends, to have followers that would proudly come with him on his journey. And in truth… he didn't want to be alone anymore. Not after finding out how warm his heart would feel when he was hugged, not after being able to laugh freely with his guard and be able to freely dream of whatever he desired.

And… he didn't want anyone else to be left alone either.

Not in the world he aimed to create.

With that thought in mind he grabbed hold of the door's handle with both hands and pushed it open, unknowingly breaking the runic sequence above him.

The room he entered was dark making him assume it was in one of the lower levels of the castle since there wasn't even a window to light his view of anything around him. Stepping through the doorway made him feel sluggish, as if something solid was trying to bar him entry. Fighting against the pull he finally made his way into the room with a faint pop, alarming the room's sole occupant.

"What is this?" A soft and haunting voice seemed to question. Harry struggled to make out the man speaking but it was impossible to even see his hand without any light to illuminate the room he had found his way into.

The man started to laugh darkly before Harry could even begin to formulate an answer to his question.

It was odd, even though the man was laughing, he didn't sound happy. "So my time has finally come father? Have you decided to take back your forsaken son?"

Harry gaped at the man as his heart froze in his chest.

He…

He had a son?!

Why did no one ever tell him?!

And his son was so old now; he'd completely missed him growing up!

He was a terrible father.

Stepping forward he held his hand out, trying to reach for his boy. He stumbled slightly but didn't stop the smile that bloomed across his lips when his hand landed on his son's shoulder. His heart was beating erratically in excitement. All his life he had wanted a family, a true one. Sure he had followers but now… now he had a son as well. He swore he lips would surely break from the large smile he was sporting. To think… all this time his family had been here, in their future home… he'll have to have a firm discussion with the stork that delivered his son here later on, after all he would liked to have known about him before this moment.

Then again, the Dursley's wasn't the best place to raise a child, so maybe it was a small mercy that the stork brought his son here instead of where his relatives lived. Hell be damned he would have been greatly annoyed if his son had become another Dudley. With the hand already holding on to his son's shoulder, he slowly moved it upwards until he was gently holding the boy's smooth but much too cold cheek; frowning in concern at how cold the boy's skin was, it felt like ice. He didn't understand what his son had been going on about earlier, but Harry knew the poor boy needed more blankets; he was far too cold as it was, and he would get sick if he didn't cover up more.

"What on earth?" His son whispered, seemingly in shock. Harry smiled; it must be surprising to meet his father after all this time, he must be nervous of accidently embarrassing himself in front of his dear dad. After all, having a father who's a Demon Lord and set to rule over the world can be a hard thing to live up to. He bet his kid was all flustered and confused right now, undoubtedly looking cute. After all, cuteness runs in their family, his pirate had even said so.

His heart felt oddly warm again at the thought. To think, he had a _family_ now. One he could share things with and in return they the same. One he could lavish with hugs, talk about any silly thing that came to mind or vent with when it came to his followers. Finally, a family of his own, the very idea made his body feel light, as if he was floating.

"Who are you?" The poor boy breathed out, confusion and worry leaking through his voice.

Oh dear.

Seems his son suffered from memory loss.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around his son, trying to comfort the panicking child; well not really a child but still. "I'm your father of course." He patted the boy's back, trying to make him relax as he felt how tense he became whenever Harry touched him even the slightest bit. It was upsetting to say the least. The Dursley's had never given him a kind touch, but since coming to his castle he learned just how wonderful they were, and planned to share them with his son as well. They were family after all, and Harry would never deny his own flesh and blood a hug, he would just have to make him used to such signs of affection. Hugging his son harder he vowed to one day make his son like hugs too.

And pudding.

He would worship pudding by the time Harry was done with him.

Slowly he felt his son return his embrace. The arms holding him were shaking, and now more than ever he wished he could see his child, especially when he felt his shirt become wet from the silent tears the boy shed.

"How is this even possible?"

Harry simply smiled wryly.

"Blame the slime."

* * *

**_Omake_**

It was peaceful here.

There were no obligations; no one to bow to, no orders to follow. He no longer was tied down by familial obligations.

He was… in a sense… free.

And yet… he could not relax.

Something kept calling for him, a soft and gentle voice, which at any other time it would have lulled him to a sleep filled with peaceful dreams. Yet now it called for him, asked for his sole attention.

And who was he to deny such a request?

Yet, he was also, in a sense, stuck. He existed in a void of nothingness after all, and had no clue how to answer the voice calling for him. Sighing softly to himself he tried to will his body to cooperate with his demands, if he could move, it would be a step in the right direction. It was difficult to move at first, his limbs felt as if they had been replaced with lead, even moving the smallest of his fingers was an unimaginable chore. A lesser man would have given up when faced with such an obstacle, but than again; he was raised to be the best.

Slowly he began to drift into awareness. The voice was calling out to him in joy, seemingly excited at his response. The words it whispered to him were unclear, but he knew what it desired regardless.

He smirked to himself. Seems his time of rest was over, and now there was much he had to do. He felt light with this knowledge however. He was no longer a slave to a madman, and never again would that be the case. He was his own person; regardless of whether or not he decided to assist unknown entity's in what could very well be the end of the universe and life itself as he knew it.

Ah well, his brother did wear off on him, and a Black never stepped down from a challenge, especially not from one that would no doubt eventually prove to be entertaining.

A gentle laugh sounded from all around him, and while he was still unable to hear what exactly the voice was saying, he was able to understand it's sentiment.

_'__Thank you.'_

With a sharp tug he yelped in surprise as suddenly his world burst into colour. Gasping he started to choke as water made it's way into his lungs, somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that should he die here again, it would be terribly ironic. He struggled to swim up but his limbs felt too heavy for him to properly move, as his body simply floated aimlessly under the dark waters. His chest was beginning to burn as the lack of oxygen made itself known. Before he could figure out how to get out of this mess he felt his insides freeze as a hand floated across his vision. Suddenly he felt multiple hands grab hold of his body, each of them little more than bone. Had he been a lesser man, he would have fainted at the horrific picture it undoubtedly made.

Instead he whimpered, internally of course.

To his surprise the ghastly hands did not try to rip him apart or drag him deeper into the murky water as they had done the first time he had the displeasure of meeting them, instead they lifted him up.

When he broke the surface he gasped in large lungfuls of blessedly fresh air, just to cough and gag some as the water he had previously inhaled tried to make its way out. The hands holding onto him slowly bought him to the small island hidden in the cave. Crawling onto the solid lump of ground he collapsed on the floor, still stunned that any of this was really happening. Groaning he struggled to lift himself up on shaky limbs and looked over at his... rescuers.

Dull eyes stared back at him, and for some it was only empty sockets for where those eyes were once held. They were all grey, which wasn't much of a surprise. Their skin was pulled tightly over their bones and any hair left on them was thin and limp. Their heads were all tilted ever so slightly to the side as they stared curiously at him. He swore their tails were wagging, if undead inferi had tails of course.

It was almost cute, if one liked the thought of hundreds of dead corpses reanimating while looking at you as if you're the best thing since slice bread that is.

He sighed, this settled it, he was going mad. He had been brought back from the dead by who knows what just to go insane.

His mother would be so proud.

Snorting he brought his hand up and ran it through his surprisingly long hair, trying to get rid of the extra water while desperately not thinking of just how long it was going to take him to brush out all of the knots he could feel in his once beautiful looking locks. He wasn't vain really, but he did take pride in his appearance, a pride that would now suffer thanks to being dead for who knows how many years. He froze in his thoughts however as his eyes glanced at his pale skin. His clothes were little more than rags and showed more skin that he felt comfortable with, but that was not what shocked him.

Looking down at his bare arm he laughed loudly, the sound harsh and ragged but a laugh nonetheless.

He was free, truly and utterly free.

And… he knew just what to do with that freedom.

Closing his dull grey eyes he smiled as he could hear the call, thought it was faint now, he could feel how pleased it was.

_'__Soon.'_ He whispered towards the one who had brought him back.

_'__Soon.'_

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Sorry for the short chapter, trying to get things in swing again as more characters become introduced and a plot will hopefully appear somewhere along the way. As for Harry's 'son'… obviously he is much older than Harry and is probably going through shock at the moment, poor guy. More will be revealed with him soon and later on, more will also be learned about Azkaban, and the truth about the prison they're all in. Sorry for the long wait, sometimes chapters come out quickly, other times, it takes ages, no matter what though my stories will not be abandoned, even if it takes them an age or two to be completed. Also for those of you curious, I will soon be posting some of my stories on archive of our own, along with a few shorter fics who don't match the guidelines on this site. I'll still be posting here as well however, it's simply in case you see these stories floating around on the other site. _

_Hope everyone enjoyed this little scene and thank you for all of your lovely reviews!_

_Till next time…_


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